Time Again to RANT

Nah, not really ranting...More like getting this out of the way before I forget. There's nothing much to say since my last post. Met my 8 month old cousin today, Elizabeth...She was super cute. I felt kinda like an outsider though with the way my cousin was treating me. Like I wasn't...capable of holding my cousin. Like I was still too young to even hold her. Well **** him. He's held and babysat what..2 maybe 3 kids? I've babysat, held, and loved 8 kids. All my nieces and nephews adore me. While he went away for months and got away from our family missing all the precious moments, I was there holding, feeding, caring, babysitting my nieces and nephews.
Don't get me wrong, I love my cousin...But he put me through so much embarrassment today that I kinda dislike him at the moment. Every time I went to pick her up and play with her, he was there 30 seconds later to take her away. Then, every time my sister came, he willingly let her hold Elizabeth and didn't say a word. It just pissed me off so much that I had to leave before I said something. I tried not to let it bug me, but after the 15th time...I was through. Whatever. I had to miss my first few moments because of how he was acting. So pissed off right now, it brought me to angry tears. UGH. Okay...I ended up ranting...Ah well. Next time, I'll try not to rant and actually just talk about my month, week, day..whatever.

Too Long

Haha..Blog, it's been forever since I last posted something. I told myself to actually keep this up, but in the end I failed. Forgive me?

My life is and will probably always be boring, but I can at least try to post something, eh? Though, I can't promise an everyday thing...I hope to actually be able to post something at least once a month, especially now that I'll be focusing on college and things like that.

Let me go back a few days. I spent 11-15 with my two best friends, Nyx and Xue. It was like...a spark inside of me began to glow again. I felt so happy seeing their faces and being with them in real life, not through a computer screen.

We stayed in a hotel for a few days and then headed to Xue's house. It's been half a year since I was last there, but as soon as I stepped through, the memories flowed over me. I kept saying to myself "We slept in there", "Meow-Mii scared Xue and I in that room" or "Nyx took 11 of 9 years off of Meow-Mii in here". It was endless. I really appreciate going into that house. It holds so many dear memories.

Through the days we stayed in that house, we didn't really do much talking. We each were doing something on our own lap tops. Or in my case, borrowing a lap top. It wasn't awkward though...It was the good thing about our friendship I guess. We're not the type that always needs to talk. We can be silent for hours and feel like we had the longest conversation ever when we walk out. We shared laughs, insults, stories, and good food. I always love the food at Xue's house.

Then, too soon...It was time to say goodbye to Nyx again. Dark day that was. We only got to spend a few days with just the three of us, but those days are always special to me. Even if it was just one day, I'd still feel content and blessed to have the both of them.

It still shocks me that I've known them for 7 years-ish. It really doesn't seem that long. I never feel like I'm missing something from them, since we're always talking to each other. I hope we never drift apart. We have to work hard for that not to happen though. We're going to have to want not to lose contact with each other to hold this dear friendship. Life, of course, won't stop if we drift apart...But it'd be much happier and brighter if I could share many moments of my life with them and if they could share with me.

Now, to the present...I am at my mothers house preparing for my orientation at my college. I don't start till the fall, but I want to get this over with and make sure I get the classes I want. I'm not taking any chances!

I've also learned that one of my cousins will probably be joining me in college so that he can finish his degree. I hope he does go, it'll make me feel more comfortable knowing someone is there that I know and would help me.

I'm kind of excited for college life. Scared and nervous as well, but I have an excitement for it. Giddy with excitement actually. Lol, I hope while there, I figure out what I was meant to do and what I'm good at. Wish me luck? :D

Scare of My Life

I was lying in bed taking a little nap when my mom busted into my room. I woke up kinda cranky and reluctantly, but as soon as she told me my grandma was in the hospital, I jerked awake.

That struck fear into my heart alone. She's so old and fragile now, anything could have happened. I didn't think the worse because I just couldn't. It would literally break my heart. She's like a second mother to me.

My mom quickly said that she had a hernia and might need a surgery. Now, this is much better than a lot of the things I was thinking about, but surgery? At her age? Especially one in her stomach is very risky. It scared me and right away I asked if I could call her or if we could visit her.

I'm leaving soon to go see how she's doing. My heart is still beating very heavily. Thanks Xue for helping me calm it and for taking my mind off of it, even for a little while. So proud of you and Nyx for getting the first chapter out...Now i have to make you guys proud and draw that scene...

Spending Time Together

I spent the day with one of my babes today! She came here early and left super late. I had to kick her out cause she was staying way too late! jk.

We had a real fun time just catching up and talking about life, school, friends, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I signed her yearbook and left a touching paragraph that almost made me cry while signing it. She of course, left me an essay because thats how Nyx is. I feel like I'm going to have problems reading it though. She writes in scribbles!

Later on in the day, we talked to the 3rd member of our little group through webcam. While it was super fun talking to Xue on the computer, I still can't wait till she's here and I'm able to hug her! I MISS YOU XUE! She'll be here in a few weeks, so I really can't seem to wait.

In the end, it was a very good day. I had missed Nyx so much since she left. It was good seeing her again. Though, I'm going to fail my Economics final thanks to her(and Xue). Oh well. <3

Going Out

So I went out with a good friend of mine today. It was a lot of fun. It was super good to hang out with her again since school didn't let us. We partied and raved and watched a movie!

We saw Shrek Forever Afer or something like that. It was pretty good. Much better than the 3rd movie, by a LOT. After the movie, we walked around Downtown and took plenty of pictures.

It was sad that the night ended so quickly. Since neither of us have our licence yet, we had to leave early cause her mom worked the next day. We're still planning on goign out though, next week so all was not lost.

We sang in her car on the way back and raved with our glow sticks of doom! Peopel from the other cars kept staring at us like we were freaks. We were having so much fun though that we didn't even care.

In the end, it was a good day. :D

Rant

I'm so glad I have friends like Xue and Nyx. They ranted right on with me and made me feel so much better. I can't seem to perk myself up anymore. After a few comments from family or friends of the family, I usually feel depressed. I hate when they make those comments. I thought I was stronger than what I am, but I still end up in my room crying hours later. I don't think they know how fragile I am on the inside. I easily cry thanks to my low self-esteem. I hate the comments they make because I know I've accomplished so much and I'm not just a fat ugly girl. Notice how I know I'm fat and not that pretty. I try not to focus on that but on the fact that I can sing, I can draw, and I am very smart, street and school wise. But in a world where none of it matters unless you're tall, thin and gorgeous...It's hard to see inner beauty. It's hard to feel proud of your accomplishments when the pretty girl next to you is getting all the attention for being pretty and getting a C on a test. Or, true example, when the BOY next to you gets all the praise and attention because he managed not to get addicted to drinking and doing drugs through his high school life. And I stand here, with my straight A's, drug and alcohol free getting nothing but a pat on the back. Sometimes I feel like, whats the point? But I keep striving to be that person who'll one day make everyone go "Wow, she became somebody! She did something with her life and let nothing stop her!"

School Year Ending...

So yeah...Not including weekends, I have 4 days of school left. 4 days. Wow. I can't believe how far I've gone and how much I've grown over the years. I met amazing people and some not so amazing. I've been through high school life and survived it! I couldn't have done this without my friends of course. Ima start crying soon. We got our year books today and I wrote on 2 of my friends already. My heart was sobbing while writing...But also happy too. My friends started crying and I felt the tears coming on too. I can't wait to have all their messages in here for me to read years from now. One of my best friends (You know who you are) isn't here at the moment so I have to make sure to save her a spot to write on. The other one will be signing it soon.(Probably Sunday). The years have been amazing and the people who have gone through those years with me have been even more amazing. They're been wonderful and so supportive. Love you guys SO much. <3

School likes to torture kids?!

So today, my school decided that it should torture their juniors and seniors. We were made to walk all the way to our football field and sit on the hot bleachers under the scorching sun. Not only that, but we had to sit out there for almost two hours with no shade what-so-ever. They were showing us what would happen if we were to drink and drive. Like they haven't shown us that over a million times since middle school. There was so wind to cool us off, only hot and sweaty bodies upon hot sweaty bodies. Everyone was sweating bullets and complaining. I'm sure no one was even paying attention? Me? I was complaining my head off to my friends. Heat + Me = DEATH. They were also selling water...Nice, ice cold water. But they wouldn't let us get it until the END of the show when we were dying then and there! Ugh. My school wants to kill us. I'm sure of it.